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Bored

Here I sit waiting for the Negro-in-Charge to get off the phone.

I do this a lot. It bugs. I don't like it. I'm frustrated.

So here I sit.

Sitting.

Grrrrr

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

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Bored

Here I sit waiting for the Negro-in-Charge to get off the phone.

I do this a lot. It bugs. I don't like it. I'm frustrated.

So here I sit.

Sitting.

Grrrrr

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Tags:

March is the month of memories for me. It also has some happy times in it, my daughter's birthday, my mom's birthday and a cousin's birthday too ... I think.

But March is also a month of great loss. In March I lost my oldest brother and my oldest sister on the same day and a few years later I would lose my next oldest sister.

Dan and Cheryl left the Akron Bus Terminal on the same day. Dan took a bus that would take him to the Army. He had been drafted into the Army and he was headed to Vietnam. My sister Cheryl got on a bus for San Francisco. She was going to protest the war in Vietnam.

Dan's notice came without much fanfare. We had not heard from him a long time. He said he was headed into something and seemed uncertain. He told us of his unit, his friends and how they would pass the time.

We never heard from Cheryl again. She left and that was the end of it for us. We would never hear from her and the police could never get a clear answer on what happened to her. She arrived at her friends place but in a few months disappeared. We know nothing more.

A few years would go by and my sister Cindy would leave the house as well. She went to San Diego to live with our aunt. She would marry, have two girls, be a wife, mother and finally be diagnosed as terminal. She would go on her own time. She didn't wait for the cancer to do it's job.

So it is March ... time to reflect on what has happened and time to look to the future. However, the future can wait a little while.

As I sit and look at this picture I see the Cheryl I remember. Beautiful, young and cool as all get out. I loved her and she put up with me (look I have hair). I waited so long to hear of her adventures, her protests and her loves. I can only imagine them now.



Now you know why I love the VW buses so much .... and why I long for the simple life. It is what she planted in my heart a long time ago and I never forgot it. She introduced me to Cat Stevens, Arlo Guthrie and Niel Young.

She would tell me adventurous stories of places where no one would wear shoes and would sleep outside. I loved her stories and I wanted to live them with her. Sometimes when I am walking along the Mexico sand, shoes a long way from me .... I can smell her hair, feel her soft hand and hear her talk of a place where there is no war ....

More Yard Electrical Fun

So I was working in my yard again this weekend. It was a nice 78*, sunny and a slight breeze. Ultra-lights were buzzing overhead and the Crows were picking on the field mice.

With the recent rains that we have had the yard decided to grow some weeds in the area that I leave in natural desert motif. So I had to clear this area out and bring it back to plain dirt.

I was out there with my hula hoe working on the weeds, baking in the sun (I am burned again) and enjoying the sunshine. This is when I noticed Poopy playing with a wire. It turns out this is the wire that runs from the Electrical Panel to the house. Here in CA these are buried, not hung.

So I clear the little piles of weeds and rake a nice pattern into the yard and head over to the unearthed wire to bury it again.

Things you need to know:

1.) The ground is soft and wet.
2.) I am not wearing shoes
3.) Poopy is huge
4.) I am not wearing shoes
5.) The ground is wet

So I dig a small trench about 9" deep and it runs between the electrical panel in the yard (where the meter is) to the corner of the house. As I use my foot to push the wire into the trench and start to cover it with my other foot I look at the wire and I say to myself ....

... "That wire looks like it's fraye......"

Next thing I know I am laying in the yard with Poopy drooling on my forehead.

I clean out the burn hole on my foot, knock the ticking noise out of my head and drive myself to Home Depot.

At Home Depot I purchased 20' of schedule 40 PVC electrical pipe and fish tape.

When I was finished all of the electrical wires in my yard have been run through the PVC pipe, weather-capped and I even left some fish tape in the pipe in case I need to run more wire later.

I was going to run a secondary pipe in the ground next to the first one but Poopy ate it. Poopy also ate my shoes ....

Today Poopy will shit rubber. Nothing new to him as last month he ate a bicycle tire ...



I don't understand that dog and I figure he doesn't understand me. He knows not to touch the fence or bite the wires he just does his thing out there and enjoys himself accordingly.

Bailey just sits around and watches Poopy and I wrestle each other to the ground. Poopy wins often.


Bailey ... She knows she is in charge and is smart enough not to let anyone else know

I like these dogs and I like my yard. I especially like it when there is a new meter reader and he discovers the dogs AFTER he is in the yard. Kinda makes Meter Reading a sport.

I think I'll take this weekend off from yard work. Maybe do something simple like wash the car .... how much trouble can I get in doing that ?

But why did he die ?

I was working this weekend taking some folks from our China office to see the sights in Mexico. I love this type of duty as I love Mexico and the weather was clear, sunny with highs in the 80s. I'll go under those conditions anytime.

I took the crew to eat "authentic" tacos, see a few strippers and I took them to the Big Show .... Mexican Bullfights.

Nothing like an afternoon in the sunshine, drinking beers watching bulls die for sport !

The evening was spent over some more beers, Chinese cigarettes and dancing with some super-fly Latinas.

You just can't go wrong when you party with the Crow.

The next day we spent down in San Felipe enjoying the beach, watching some water sports drinking more beers and tanning our feet. If I said this was the "Life" my words would not do justice to the way I feel when I am in those beach chairs.

The following day we got up early, ate our last round of breakfast tacos (real ones ... not that crap stateside) and we headed to the border to cross back to the US. We sat in the border line, bought mexican wrestling masks, coca-colas and other trinkets.

The boys had a great time.

When we hit the 111 we hopped onto the 8 which would take us to San Diego. This route also takes us through the desert area very near the Mexican border. Once we passed Ocitillo Wells we went through the last Border Patrol checkpoint. All IDs in line, we were good to go. We hid the beers under the seats.

Not more than 1,000 feet away from this checkpoint a black F-150 pick up started weaving all over. I looked over to see the passenger grab the wheel and steer to the median. He was able to get the truck to stop and I slammed my F-150 into Park and was out the door long before it wanted to stop.

I left the Chinese to clean up the beer mess.

The passenger and I got the driver out of the truck and onto the ground where we started to size up the problem. Other cars were stopping and I did my "Prison Guard" impersonation and barked orders to the volunteers. Lastly telling a man who looked like he was in very good shape to run back to the Border Patrol and bring me something with a GPS and flashing lights so we could be located.

When the woman with the working cell phone asked for details I took her phone away and told the dispatcher to send everything, we would need paramedics, fire response and a cruiser with a defibrillator .... send MercyAir too.

I handed the phone back to the woman and started to work on CJ to see if I could keep him alert even though he wouldn't be able to talk. I sized up he had a seizure or worse and we were dealing with someone who thinks he is a animal.

CJ held in there real good. That was until his eyes filled with blood and he was leaking blood from all his head orifices. This is when it got sticky.

CJ gave me "that" look which said he was not going to get past this when his body did the "last dance". I held him, prayed for him and shouted to him to hang in there we were calling the Calvary for him. His body struggled and winced hard from the pain sensors in his head that were going offline.

CJ went limp. Blood flowed out his ears, nose and poured from his mouth. Even if we could bring him back he would be moosh. The woman with the cell phone started screaming and handed me back the phone.

The dispatcher told me help would arrive in 15 minutes. I told her to cancel MercyAir, send a Supervisor from the CHP and to have the Paramedics call it when they get there. This was now a DB call and we were through.

CJs friend stood there in disbelief. In an instant his friend went from laughing and driving after a good day's work to lying on the side of the 8 ... dead.

I left CJ's body where I laid it and got up to head back to my tuck. The Border Patrol Officer thanked me for stopping.

I tried to explain what happened to the Chinese groupies, they didn't need a translator for this one.

We drove on to LAX in the awkward quiet of that haunts a group strange to each other that just witnessed the "big fear" shared by all.

I could not stop thinking of the bulls and how they fell to their knees, blood running from their mouths and the taste of the cold beer in the sunshine.

Put up a new electrified fence - problem

Thought y'all should read this in case you're thinking of installing an electric fence! We have the standard 6ft. Fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city.

To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence. Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had, made for 26 miles of fence. I then used an 8 ft. Long ground rod, drove 7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works.

The other day I'm mowing the back yard with my cheapo Wal-Mart 6hp big wheel push mower. The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way. It seems as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all.

Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1..7 gig volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover. Time stood still. The first thing I notice is my testicles trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine. It seems as though the fence charger and the POS lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.

Science says you cannot poop and pee at the same time.. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand.

At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can't let go. I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences... But Dad always had those POS chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled. This I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the permadamp Mojave river bottom soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas.

'Damn!,' I think, as I remember I just filled the tank! Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It is settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop & pee, and with my testicles on my chest I think 'Oh God please die.... Pleeeeze die'. But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot.

So here I am in the middle of January, 64 degrees, 80% humidity, standing in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day... He left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created.

I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire... I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned. There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot were the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire. Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things.

1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted.
2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not the left, just the right).
3- Poop & pee when mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think.
4- My left eye will not open.
5- My right eye will not close.
6- The lawnmower runs like a spotted ape now. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better than new after that.
7- My testicles are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long.
8- I can turn on the TV in the game room by farting while thinking of the number 4 (still don't understand this?)

That day changed my life. I now have a new found respect for things. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow.

The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow.

Facebook Change

On facebook as:

CrowElvenFirestorm

make adjustments as needed.

Thanks,

New Computer .... How fun

I purchased a new computer for my upcoming China trip ....

I picked up the Acer AspireOne ($348 at Wal-Mart) and it is the bomb. So I am loading this thing with all sorts of web-enabled stuff 'ems as needed to do my job from the other side of the Earth.

Between this an my new iPhone (reverse engineered alien technology at its best) I should be able to communicate back to the house and send pix and whatever all else.

However, nothing does laundry.

So I am working my abbreviated work week finalizing the requirements of my time away from the office to work in the office at our China facility.

The best part of this whole thing is that the shop in China has a scooter and I am planning to ride that thing around Ningbo. That is so scary dangerous it makes me giggle for joy.

Imagine being a little Chinese cat on a Scooter then seeing the rapidly approaching hairless white guy going too fast in your direction !!!!

Get outta my way BITCH !!!!!

Oh yeah .... I got a vision.

I'll post a photo or two of my adventure .... did I ever mention my affections so small Chinese ladies ???? Where's my blue pills ?????

Stupid Stupid Stupid



Time to get serious about this nonsense.
... Hey, don't touch me there you are not my Uncle !!

My poor Doctor didn't know what to say or do next .....